Strange as it may seem, I feel like I have been through a time machine. Life has went by so fast it can be amazing. Drew, we will have been without you going on two years now, since you went away time has flown. I still keep looking for your truck to pull in the driveway, but that is not going to happen is it?
Out of all the loneliness and tears, there has been some good come out of all this. A new baby born after your namesake, a new family and God's blessings of friends and family healing and going on with their lives. That's it my love, just going on.
It is so hard to explain to someone so young that their lives and situations are very temporary, things come and go and before you know it you have been through a whole lifetime of ups and downs and all around.
Now, as I look to the past I am amazed of how fast life has swept by. I think about the farm, my mom and dad. Especially daddy's wisdom of hearing him say "it is only a temporary thing hon," to my mom at times. Lots of times it does not feel that way, when you are struggling and going through hard times, trying to make ends meet and raising a family. I think that most of the time we take life for granite so much and get caught up in our own selfishness we don't realize the blessings around us.
How easy it is too, to get so caught up in life you forget all that you ever wanted with dreams and aspirations of what used to be. I thank God for the farm I was raised on and the parents I had. To think we had it so easy then, or so it seemed.
Every time I turn around things are getting more expensive, less obtainable and more contaminated. To think all of that was so assessable from the life I once lived.
Cat litter was free, all we had to do was go to the wood shed and gather all the shavings you wanted, now for the same thing in a store you are spending a fortune. The sunshine was free, now we can not even get in the sun for the holes in the atmosphere. Food was free in the gardens and the animals we raised. So blessed was I to have all of those things. Believe it or not, I almost wish that all we had to keep up with was paper, pencil and a book. Now, you have a cord for every device to charge it with, and you can never rely on the mechanics of man made devices.
Now, I know I can never go back to that place in time, and I so regret not making the time to show you where I was raised, and for that I feel I have let you down.
We as humans are selfish and greedy not giving anyone even our time to listen, and I don't want to be that kind of person. I want to give freely of my time to others, and we know to survive we find it difficult to do. Never again am I going to take this bit of life I have left for granted anymore. I may be poor for the rest of my life, but in other ways I will be rich.
I miss you my love,
Mom
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