Letters to Drew

Hi Drew:

It's mom again. I just have to write to you, it is good therapy for me. I keep going over in my mind what happened to you that night. I can't process why or how you managed to wreck that car so badly. I knew something was not right two and one half hours before you died something was wrong. When you called me, you told me you loved me three times, and to take care of Nekoda. I came home and told Tom I  fell like I should have made you come home that night.

When I seen you lying on that hospital bed, with just a scratch on your face, I was in dis-belief. We all wanted you to come back so badly. How could you be gone forever, I had just talked to you. It seems to be hurting worse now then it did then.

There are no words to describe the hurt a mother feels when something like this happens. I remembered the night you were born, you looked at me like you knew me. Laying on that hospital bed you looked just like the little boy I gave birth to.

I sometimes wonder where were your guardian angels that night? We are suppose to have angels watching over us, so people say. You looked so peaceful, just like you were asleep. The reel keeps playing in my head over and over. I guess I will always miss you for the rest of the time I have on this earth. I just wanted you with me.

I just did not have enough time with you, it is not fair. How could this happen? Just know that I will always have you in my heart, and I can't wait till we see each other again, and walk on sandy beaches and watch the sunset.

I love you sweetie.

Mom